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Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea Well, to be fair, chocolate cake is never a bad idea. It’s, just- well, did you know it’s entirely possible to misplace an entire half of a cake when you’re drunk? Cuz, yeah, it sounds hard to believe, but it is. Although, to be fair, it’s gotta be somewhere in … Continue reading
Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea Cuz that’s how you end up eating an entire sleeve of Halloween Oreos by yourself, in one sitting… and then you post pictures of yourself pretending to be the ghost on the back of the cookie… or- err, I mean, so I’ve heard.
Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea Because at one point or another, you’re gonna wipe your eyes. Trust me, it’s Murphy’s Law or something.
Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea The only thing worse than Fruity Pebbles burps is when they’re mixed with a distinct malt liquor aftertaste.
Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea I’m pretty sure they call it “Cheez Whiz” cuz you can’t legally call that stuff “cheese.” Still, much like the dreaded Funyon or the ill-advised pork rinds, sometimes you manage to convince yourself that it’ll turn out alright this time. It won’t It never does.
Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea Cuz when you’re drunk? Sure, an enchilada sounds good… until you end up wearing half of the damn meal on your shirt and pants. The art of “moving the fork into your mouth” is lost on most of us drunks.
Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea They’re already hard enough to eat when you’re sober. One time, a piece of chicken from my taco ended up in my left shoe. How did it get there? Not really sure, just one of those drunk mysteries, I guess.
Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea I know what you’re thinking. “How can beer and chocolate-covered cookie things not amazing?” It’s just- it’s just not, okay? The cookie gets soggy and then you start getting crumbs in your already-disgusting backwash of a beer. I just can’t recommend it in good conscience. Instead, just get drunk, then … Continue reading
Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea Not even the ritual slaughter of taste buds in the form of whiskey and rum can make this stuff not taste like feet.
Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea It’s just a bad idea. There’s no way around it. It gets stuck in your teeth. I mean, sure, that happens when you’re sober, but when you’re drunk? Well, let’s just say, there really is no worse feeling than waking up with kernels stuck in your teeth.
Drunk Good Idea/Sober Bad Idea 